Grief makes you do weird things. For example, signing cards for a loved one who has died.
Wait, pause real quick. I shouldn’t say it’s “weird.” In fact, I think it’s actually quite common and “normal,” whatever “normal” is anyways.
Maybe a better way to say it is that grief makes you do things you never thought you’d do.
Throughout the first year of my grief journey (and maybe even for the next few years to follow), I remember signing cards for my twin. I did it mainly whenever I gave a close loved one a birthday gift. I also remember doing it for Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.
Why did I do this? Well, like grief, it’s complicated, but I’ll do my best to explain.
I felt responsible to show her (my twin) love to those that she loved since she couldn’t physically do that anymore. I felt sad for my loved one(s) that would normally receive cards from her. I felt like I couldn’t not write her name on a card since we would have normally sent the same card together. I didn’t want to accept that she would never sign a card again.
As the ones left behind, we hold so many feelings of guilt, responsibility, sadness, anger, etc. We act on these feelings and sometimes those actions can comfort us in a way. I think that’s the main reason I signed those cards. For comfort.
If you have chosen to sign your deceased loved one’s name on cards or not, you are valid in your actions and feelings. Do what works for you.
As always with love,