Would you be surprised if I told you that the day after the funeral is harder on the griever than the actual funeral itself? Well, it’s true. For me, at least, and I presume most others as well.
The day of the funeral is kind of like how grievers feel every day. They want to celebrate their loved ones. They want to honor them and they want everyone to talk about the one they lost. They want people to cry and hurt with them and to hear about their horrible pain.
Then there’s the day after.
The day where the world continues to rotate, everyone goes back to work, things simply “move on.”
It hurts. Bad. You’re now forced to face this dreaded journey and figure out how to continue moving forward in life. It feels like you’ve been deserted on an island with no supplies and no people to help you.
So how do I help you with this? Sadly, I wish I had the answer, but maybe I do. I think we need to create more awareness. I’m not sure many people who have suffered significant loss know that the funeral isn’t the worst part. Every day after it is where the uphill battle truly begins. So if you’re a friend of a griever, be aware of this and take the steps you feel appropriate to ensure your friend doesn’t feel deserted. My post 5 Things to Say to Your Grieving Friend can help you navigate what to say.
And to the griever who feels deserted. Believe me when I say, I have been there. I remember waking up the day after my twin’s funeral thinking, “Now what?” I now have to face this horror. Alone.
But I did. Every day. I woke up and I put one foot in front of the other. And at the end of each day, I took a deep breath and knew I was one day closer to getting off that deserted island.
All my love,